Between honesty without empathy or lying with empathy, which do you see ideal, why?

RickeyD

@NeoMakazo ; Honesty is overwhelmingly empathetic because positive change will not manifest without a honest understanding of the problem and a honest discussion relevant to solutions. Empathy does not need to be antithetical to truth but should compliment truth and make it attractive and desirable to those with a pure heart. False empathy is deceit and is not love but a form of hate and cowardice. 

Proverbs 26:28 "A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin."

Happy_Killbot

How about don't be an A** h*** and break hard truth in a way that isn't going to be psychologically damaging?

You can have both, you just have to be smart about it.

MayCaesar

Lying is always a bad idea; habitual lying, for whatever reasons, is going to make you unable to form deep, genuine connections with people. You are always going to manipulate them and walk on eggshells trying to please them, and they will never get to see the real you.

This does not mean, however, that extreme honesty is always the right way to go. If your girlfriend puts on a nice dress and asks, "Do I look good in it?", and you say honestly, "Not as much as you could, because you are overweight", then all it will do is distance you from each other, and regular incidents like this are going to destroy the relationship.
You have to know when to be diplomatic. Being diplomatic does not mean lying; you can avoid saying anything, or you can say something somewhat unrelated, or even say the truth in a positive way. In the described situation, even if I truly felt that my girlfriend could drop some weight, I would say that she looks good, without specifying that she could look even better under different circumstances.

When debating serious matters, I will always be direct and truthful, regardless of any hurt feelings. People who want to debate serious topics should accept the fact that their feelings can be hurt, because truth hurts sometimes, and why debate anything if truth is not what you are after? The most offensive thing in my book is to say a lie in order to spare one's feelings in a serious debate, as I find it deeply patronising and manipulative. I can handle the truth, and if someone cannot, then they should not be debating anything in the first place.
If, for example, you are a Muslim and you have initiated a discussion on whether Islam is a good ideology, then sorry, but you will hear from me about the atrocities Islam and organised religion in general has led to throughout human history. You should be ready to face statements that challenge your most deep convictions, and if you are not, then you have only yourself to blame.
At the same time, if you are a Muslim, then I can be your best friend, and I will never hold your beliefs against you. I can be mean when the circumstances require it, but I am also friendly and open-minded and have complex stances on most issues. I am happy to discuss anything in the abstract manner, but I will not equate you to your beliefs or other features.

If you smoke cigarettes all the time, then I will have 0 objections to it, as it is your business, and I will not think less of you for it. Just do not ask me whether cigarettes harm your health and expect me to say, "Oh, no, you are good, do not worry about it". And if you become my very close friend or a romantic partner, then you will have to do something about your smoking, not because I am uncomfortable breathing in the smoke or anything, but because at this point I care about you as much as I do about me and will not stand silent as you are actively killing yourself.

PG_Void

Lying to try to show empathy is wrong. That’s all there is to it. When prompted with the opportunity to tell the truth or lie, 10/10 times we should always tell the truth when it comes to showing empathy towards another person. 

“The truth will set you free, but it will first piss you off.” -Gloria Steinem