I just saw this 3 minute video of “my husband doesn’t help with the kids” by Kristina Kuzmic. It shames men for not taking equal role in raising children and challenges a stereotype that women should be taking a primary role in raising kids and a good father “should help”. She is raising the issue of “helping with the children” as being insulting to both men and women.
I am all for equality, but this cherry picking of facts is taking it over the top. It should be a fair division of overall roles and responsibilities for the household, and not just pushing for specific chores to be equal without looking at the whole picture.
That’s a great example of taking sexism to extreme. I appreciate and value women rights, but lets not confuse being equal as being the same. Our society has made progress towards empowering women and we want this progress to continue. But shaming men isn’t a good strategy.
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There is also the factor that biologically women are wired to raise kids much harder than men; traditionally men would go to hunt animals or do something else requiring a lot of physical activity, while women stayed in the tribe tending to their kids. While such an arrangement is no longer the case in the modern world, biology is not so hard to rewire, and it makes sense for this imbalance to remain in the society, regardless of any discrimination.
People should separate social discrimination from natural inequality between sexes. This whole idea that men and women are absolutely equal in everything is wrong on many levels. It is important to appreciate biological differences between us; what is wrong is thinking that those differences must compel us to do something. But they must be appreciated nonetheless.
"Equality", the one human rights movements have fought for for centuries, refers to equality of opportunity, not outcome. What people fought for is lack of prejudice and giving everyone a chance. They did not fight for some statistical equalisation of what people actually choose to do in life.
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What I saw in the video was a woman complaining about the lack of inequality happening in her marriage.
In my marriage, as much as I liked working I decided to stay at home and raise my children. So of course the majority of the care was left to me. I never resented it but I also had a husband that had no problem taking care of the kids when quite frankly I needed a break. When you are a stay at home mom it is a 24 hour 7 day a week job that you can not ever just walk away from. Also, when people find out your a stay at home mom they assume you have plenty of time on your hands and almost expect you to volunteer for every your kids are involved in. So your days get packed and you end up with doing more than you would have been doing if you just went to work. So there were days where sometimes I just needed those breaks my husband allotted me. Sometimes it was just him taking the kids out for a couple of for a couple of hours so I could just sit on the couch and watch an entire non-kid movie without interruption or so I could just go out with my friends.
So while the majority of the care of taking care of the children fell on me I never felt it to be an equitable arrangement unlike the woman in the video.
I really think she was just speaking from her experience.
Unfortunately that kind of thing happens in a lot of marriages.
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